Profits Before Pancakes

One Man's Search for Discarded Treasure

Join me on a journey inside the garages, attics, and basements of the world. Cheer my successes. Lament my failures. Learn from my mistakes... someone ought to.


A note on structure

For the past two months, published posts have worked in pairs. One detailed a weekend's exploits, the other analyzed and critiqued purchases. As I prepare for the return of school and the end of the yard sale season, I'm switching to one post per week. Once I get settled into a routine, I'll try and pick a "release day" and stick to it. I'm going to experiment with a lot of new ideas. We'll see if any work.

I am currently seeking representation and/or a publisher for my novel.

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Cat Packs

My wife has what some (read: me) might call a masochistic digital habit. She will scroll her social media feeds in search of videos...

Puny People

His latest violation of the Good Samaritan Act “So, I pull up to the curb opposite this woman, right?” My father is glowing. He loves...

Antlers Out

I’m partial to movies that begin with some variation of the phrase “Based on a true story.” I think it’s because I’m generally...

Night Hero Costumes for Seduction

“I didn’t know this came with a show.” “This one’s free.” “Ooooh.” “You’ll have to pay for the next one.” “When’s that?” “Any time.”...

Scrabble Ann and the Rabid Pyrex Junkies

It's 2019. My mother and I are watching half a summer's worth of our yard-sale finds being sold at a live auction. Strange stuff is...

Fake Silver and a Real Diner

“You can sit anywhere you like.” Anywhere we like. I see. The table to our left was plastic, its top scorched and sprinkled with black...

Against All Odds: Aaron's Gold

More than a century ago, Theodore Roosevelt went hunting. Being the President of the United States, he was entitled to certain perks. He...

Beware of Public Urination

“Your mother’s pulled her rib… or something,” my father said, leaning his head out the window. “Do you wanna come with me again?” I...

The Smuggler's Blues

My father wears blue jeans every single day. It could be a million degrees outside (like this morning) and he’ll still rock denim. He...

Duck Tales and Dinky Toys

A revision from Monday’s post: Dinky Toys can be worth a lot of money, but like most things in this business, collectors are extremely...

Take Me Home

Saturday, July 25th I work part time for an agency that supports families and at-risk youth. A few times a month, I’m saddled with an...

Alright Lubeck, How Much is She Worth?

I used my Google Machine to find the cake pan. It’s much easier to research and appraise items that are labeled with their name and...

Beyond Thunderdome

It took me an hour before I noticed that my mother’s crewneck long-sleeve shirt was on inside out. Her embarrassment was mitigated by the...

The Net, With That Girl From The Bus

My father got straight to the point. [1] “I like your bayonet. You’ve got something special there.” He knew it was a bayonet and not a...

Butter Tarts and Little Swords

My mother broke a thirty second window of silence with a random question. “Did you know they made a movie about this town?” I shook my...

I Guess It Wasn't Miller Time

I set my painting down on top of a mirror-less vanity in my parents' garage. I rested the Miller sign against the vanity’s legs. Then I...

It's Miller Time

I settled into the driver’s seat of my Dodge Caravan and sighed. It had been three, maybe four months since I had been conscious before...

 

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